Love is one of the most beautiful things in the life of a person. From waking up to lovely messages to romantic dinners and getaways, being in an intimate relationship feels like a little heaven in this world, especially in the initial couple of months or years. In as much as it is important to be optimistic about a bright future with your significant other, you should be a bit careful before you decide to marry them. Most marriages collapse because the involved partners plunged into a lifetime commitment as a result of emotions, thus overlooking serious things which come to haunt them later.
A recent research about marriages shows that about 41% of all first marriages in the U.S end in divorce. The rate is nearly the same across the world. Therefore, before you say put a ring on it and say yes to your sweetheart, there are several things that you need to consider if you don’t want your marriage to be part of the statistics. Here are some of the major things to consider.
The strength of your love
Ideally, a marriage that’s fulfilling and stands the test of time is that which is based on true and strong love. It is easy to tell your partner “I will love you and be by your side till death do us part” but actualizing that might be not be a walk in the park. To analyze the strength of your love, ask yourself questions like, “Am I ready to be with him or her at their worst moment in life, for instance, when they are fighting for their life on a sickbed, bankruptcy state, in insane mind or when everybody else is against them?” Besides, true love forgives unconditionally.
On that note, do you think that you can forgive your partner if they commit a mistake that seems very gross? Then, considering that there are billions of beautiful and handsome people in this world, are you ready to commit fully to your partner in your entire life or there’s a possibility you can see a better person and shift your love to them? If you have doubt about loving your girlfriend or boyfriend unconditionally in regards to the questions you’ve just asked yourself, there’s a high possibility that your love for him or her is not strong enough to stand the test of time.
Honesty and trustworthiness
The foundation of a healthy love relationship/ marriage constitutes honesty and trust. It is not possible to fully commit your love to a person who is not honest and you don’t trust. Although no one can be fully truthful (some minor lies like pranks might be unavoidable) a person who deserves your trust is less likely to lie to you or talk ill about you. If he/she constantly lies to you and is mostly dishonest during your courtship, there’s highly likely that they’ll carry on with the undesirable behaviors into your marriage. It isn’t advisable to take chances with such a person, lest you’ll regret big time later in your marriage life.
Maturity is not necessarily about the age of a person although you can’t afford to marry an underage person unless you don’t mind spending years behind bars. Besides age, the level of soberness and wisdom with which a person approaches and handles issues defines their maturity. According to Anne from The Wife Choice, a mature girlfriend or boyfriend is patient, understanding, is serious about most things he/she says, encourages you to live your dreams, helping you make progress in your life where they can and thinks soberly before acting, not to mention moving proactively to assist each other in issues concerning kids and family.
If he/she lacks such characteristics, you need to rethink about your intentions to accept him/her your life partner. You might consider giving them some time and help for them to gain an acceptable level of maturity. If you think that they are too rigid to change, you should consider reevaluating other options.
The way your partner relates with your family and friends
Your family and friends matter in your life. No man is an island. The way your partner treats can reveal much about their personality. Although some friends can be fake, your partner shouldn’t dictate you on who to keep in your friends’ zone. If they see a person who doesn’t deserve to be your friend, he/she should just bring his or her concerns to your attention in a friendly and charismatic way and give you room to decide whether to keep or do away with the friend.
Besides, a partner who dissuades you from spending time or helping your family members is a red flag. A partner who really loves you will treat the people you care about well and help you to maintain good relationships with them, as long as they are not interfering with yours. Even when there are differences, they should handle them wisely without creating unnecessary tensions and amenity, if possible.
In as much as some couples would want to bury their faces in the sand to ignore the importance of financial stability in a marriage, you shouldn’t overlook it. We are not talking about being rich, but your ability to pay your home bills and take care of other financial needs of your home. A new study lists money issues as the leading cause of collapsed marriages. More than one third of the respondents of the study reported financial pressures as the biggest challenge to their marriages while one fifth attributed most of their arguments to money problems.
Therefore, before you enter in your marriage, ensure that both of you are financially stable, and one of you is financially stable and is willing and able to take care of your financial needs when you marry. Discuss your financial stability together and perhaps arrange how each of you will be contributing towards meeting your financial needs.
Ideologies and core values
Although there chances of reaching a common ground and move on together seamlessly, most people with different ideologies and core values tend to have constant conflicts which are a threat to a marriage. If you share common values and thought processes with your partner, you are highly likely to have a strong couple bond. Otherwise, conflicting ideologies and core values should make you a bit worried about your future together.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and so, should be approached from a well-informed point of view and with a sober eye. If you truly want lifetime companionship with your partner, make sure that you consider the above-listed things before you get married.