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Want to get married? Things to consider before you say “Yes”

Love is one of the most beautiful things in the life of a person. From waking up to lovely messages to romantic dinners and getaways, being in an intimate relationship feels like a little heaven in this world, especially in the initial couple of months or years. In as much as it is important to be optimistic about a bright future with your significant other, you should be a bit careful before you decide to marry them. Most marriages collapse because the involved partners plunged into a lifetime commitment as a result of emotions, thus overlooking serious things which come to haunt them later.

A recent research about marriages shows that about 41% of all first marriages in the U.S end in divorce. The rate is nearly the same across the world. Therefore, before you say put a ring on it and say yes to your sweetheart, there are several things that you need to consider if you don’t want your marriage to be part of the statistics. Here are some of the major things to consider.

The strength of your love

Ideally, a marriage that’s fulfilling and stands the test of time is that which is based on true and strong love. It is easy to tell your partner “I will love you and be by your side till death do us part” but actualizing that might be not be a walk in the park. To analyze the strength of your love, ask yourself questions like, “Am I ready to be with him or her at their worst moment in life, for instance, when they are fighting for their life on a sickbed, bankruptcy state, in insane mind or when everybody else is against them?” Besides, true love forgives unconditionally.

On that note, do you think that you can forgive your partner if they commit a mistake that seems very gross? Then, considering that there are billions of beautiful and handsome people in this world, are you ready to commit fully to your partner in your entire life or there’s a possibility you can see a better person and shift your love to them? If you have doubt about loving your girlfriend or boyfriend unconditionally in regards to the questions you’ve just asked yourself, there’s a high possibility that your love for him or her is not strong enough to stand the test of time.

Honesty and trustworthiness

The foundation of a healthy love relationship/ marriage constitutes honesty and trust. It is not possible to fully commit your love to a person who is not honest and you don’t trust. Although no one can be fully truthful (some minor lies like pranks might be unavoidable) a person who deserves your trust is less likely to lie to you or talk ill about you. If he/she constantly lies to you and is mostly dishonest during your courtship, there’s highly likely that they’ll carry on with the undesirable behaviors into your marriage. It isn’t advisable to take chances with such a person, lest you’ll regret big time later in your marriage life.

Maturity

Maturity is not necessarily about the age of a person although you can’t afford to marry an underage person unless you don’t mind spending years behind bars. Besides age, the level of soberness and wisdom with which a person approaches and handles issues defines their maturity. According to Anne from The Wife Choice,  a mature girlfriend or boyfriend is patient, understanding, is serious about most things he/she says, encourages you to live your dreams, helping you make progress in your life where they can and thinks soberly before acting, not to mention moving proactively to assist each other in issues concerning kids and family.

If he/she lacks such characteristics, you need to rethink about your intentions to accept him/her your life partner. You might consider giving them some time and help for them to gain an acceptable level of maturity. If you think that they are too rigid to change, you should consider reevaluating other options.

The way your partner relates with your family and friends

Your family and friends matter in your life. No man is an island. The way your partner treats can reveal much about their personality. Although some friends can be fake, your partner shouldn’t dictate you on who to keep in your friends’ zone. If they see a person who doesn’t deserve to be your friend, he/she should just bring his or her concerns to your attention in a friendly and charismatic way and give you room to decide whether to keep or do away with the friend.

Besides, a partner who dissuades you from spending time or helping your family members is a red flag. A partner who really loves you will treat the people you care about well and help you to maintain good relationships with them, as long as they are not interfering with yours. Even when there are differences, they should handle them wisely without creating unnecessary tensions and amenity, if possible.

Financial stability

In as much as some couples would want to bury their faces in the sand to ignore the importance of financial stability in a marriage, you shouldn’t overlook it. We are not talking about being rich, but your ability to pay your home bills and take care of other financial needs of your home. A new study lists money issues as the leading cause of collapsed marriages. More than one third of the respondents of the study reported financial pressures as the biggest challenge to their marriages while one fifth attributed most of their arguments to money problems.

Therefore, before you enter in your marriage, ensure that both of you are financially stable, and one of you is financially stable and is willing and able to take care of your financial needs when you marry. Discuss your financial stability together and perhaps arrange how each of you will be contributing towards meeting your financial needs.

Ideologies and core values

Although there chances of reaching a common ground and move on together seamlessly, most people with different ideologies and core values tend to have constant conflicts which are a threat to a marriage. If you share common values and thought processes with your partner, you are highly likely to have a strong couple bond. Otherwise, conflicting ideologies and core values should make you a bit worried about your future together.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment and so, should be approached from a well-informed point of view and with a sober eye. If you truly want lifetime companionship with your partner, make sure that you consider the above-listed things before you get married.

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How To Choose The Right Futon Mattress

Choosing the right Futon mattress should not be a bother to you. It all starts by you realizing that there is no ‘fit-for-all’ futon mattress. Every person would enjoy a practically different type of futon with different specifications. This means that what fits your expectation is not exactly what will fit another person’s expectation. All through the search for the decision-making process, you should not focus on what other people would focus on. This guide will help you to choose the best and the right futon mattress just for you.

  1. The size

futon mattress sizesThis is what comes to your mind when you think about the futon mattress. Well, you are actually right. Choosing the wrong size for your need will not guarantee you’re the smile you have when buying it after some time. You should get something that is able to meet your demands based on the reason you bought it. The size you choose will have to be in line with how you are going to use it. For instance, if you are going to use it precisely for your seat, then it’s going to be a bit small. However, if you are going to use it at times for bed, it might have to be bigger.

When going to buy the mattress, you might not be successful to simply use your eyes to know the size you need. You can take the measurement of the bed you want to use it in. all you need is the length and the width of the mattress. Once you have the right measurements, you can now choose from the following common sizes in the market:

  • Chair: 28”L by 54”
  • Chair Ottoman 28”L by 75”W
  • Twin 39”L by 75”W
  • Loveseat 54’L by 54”W
  • Loveseat Ottoman 54”L by 21”W
  • Full 54”L by 75”W
  • Queen 60”L by 80”W

Your measurement will somehow be equal or very close to one of the above. This will help you to choose something that is not too big or too small for your purpose.

  1. How soft

    do you want your mattress?

There are three categories when it comes to the softness of the futon mattresses. You can have the soft mattress, the medium or a firm mattress. If you go for a soft mattress, you are going to enjoy a plush surface which is somehow entertaining. However, the soft mattress is less durable. The plush experience fades away very fast and so it remains very thin and less comfortable. The soft one is not really recommendable if you want to use it for a long time.

Another category is the firm or tuff futon mattress. This one is very rigid and is not characterized by any sense of plushness. When new, it is not really comfortable. The difference between having this rigid mattress and sleeping on a wooden surface directly is negligible. There is actually no difference. Maybe with time, you can get used to the hard surface. Getting used does not necessarily mean that you are comfortable. If anything, people can get used to problems. If you need some comfort, you can avoid this category. But if you are interested in achieving nice durability, then you can go for it.

The medium mattress in terms of toughness is the most recommended. It cuts in between the soft and the firm mattress. With this, you can enjoy both comfort and durability. It is normally referred to as the mattress for the in-between people who do not know whether they need the firm or the soft mattress. Well, this might be true but I believe and highly recommend the medium one. Your money is of value and so you need some durable commodity. At the same time, your health is of the essence and so you need to be comfortable.

  1. The thickness of the futon mattress

This also another key factor to consider when choosing a futon mattress. The thickness of the mattress also contributes to the comfort level. The convenience of use also comes in when you talk about its thickness. The general recommended thickness should be eight inches. With this, you can be very comfortable. However, if you need a futon mattress for the purpose of travel or if you do not have a permanent place for the mattress, you can take a thinner one. Six inches will not be very hard to deal with if it has to be folded always. Depending on how you are going to use the mattress, you can check on this factor. A futon mattress which is thinner than this might not be any comfortable but if your buying requirement dictates for it, then you can go ahead for a thinner one. Any futon mattress thicker than eight inches will be too thick to be comfortable.

  1. Your budget

This is another factor which people love assuming. The fact that a mattress looks ‘fat’ and expensive does not really mean that it is the best for you. You can have something that is not very expensive but which of high quality. The mistake that most people do when it comes to allocating cash for futon mattresses is to look for popular brands. Well, popular brands can be offering the best provision of mattresses, something that gives them the required reputation. However, at some given point, those popular brands were never popular but they were offering good mattresses. The point here is that you can have a good and quality mattress from an unpopular brand at a cheaper price. Your interest should be quality and not the brand. At times the bandwagon should not dictate your purchases. When you finally make the decision of what you actually need, the amount to part with should be your pocket-friendly.

  1. Your planned use

It is not very obvious that whenever you are buying a futon mattress then it is you who is going to use it. It could be that you are buying it for the sake of your visitors or any form of emergency. If it is not for regular use, then you can opt for something which is a bit cheap. Quality might not be a factor to consider here since it will not be used daily. However, if it is for your own personal use, you can be sure that you will need to use it almost daily. This would call for better quality. If possible, you can go for a spring mattress. This will last for years after years. However, if you go for a less quality one without any spring or any additional sense of value, you will end up buying futon mattress almost yearly especially if you want uninterrupted comfort.

  1. How you sleep

This may sound funny. Yes, it is also a consideration. How you sleep should lead you to the right choice of a futon mattress. You should know your sleeping posture before going to buy your mattress. This factor is most applicable for people who are not sure whether they need a soft mattress or a firm one. Basically, if you sleep on your belly, you would need a more firm mattress. This will prevent you from suffocating. For the side sleepers, a soft or medium mattress is ideal for you. Those who sleep on their back can literally sleep on any futon mattress from Amazon.

  1. The mattress cover

This is the major which people tend to be keen about. A good number of those who dwell here are even mistaken. They tend to look for something attractive in terms of color. Yes, there are those who are really sensitive about color. We got them their respect. However, as you think of the color of the mattress cover, also check on the material which the mattress is made of. It should not be a slippery one which will keep your bed sheets moving. It should actually have some cotton content which will make the cover to offer you some comfort. If you are a color sensitive person, also check on the color that is not too bright that you will keep washing each passing day. Personally, I would go for a dull color. if anything, the mattress cover will always be on the bed and covered with other blankets and sheets.

  1. The weight of the user

Lastly, you can consider the weight of the user if at all it is to be used to by a specific person or couple. Most people might assume this factor yet it is as important as any other factor discussed before. If you buy a very soft mattress yet you are ‘huge’ in the body or you are to share the bed with a partner who is also ‘big’, be rest assured that you will be changing your mattress as often than you think. However, if you are very small, it is right for you to go for the soft one if that is what you prefer. Well, you will still buy another one after some time even if you are small in body size and you choose a thin one. The frequency to change will however not be as for the people who weigh many pounds.

Final thought

People are very different and so even the desires and the expectations of the mattress must be different. Therefore, when it comes to choosing a good futon mattress, you have to consider all the above factors. If you do so, I can guarantee you that you will enjoy your sleep and you will live to respect your right decision. It is better to take time in choosing the right futon mattress than to do it fast and end up with a poor choice.